I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
