we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
