Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
