i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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