Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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