I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
