I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
