I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
