I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
