last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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