Farmville is her only friend.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
