There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
