You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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