I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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