For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
try to milk me bitch
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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