Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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