Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
