Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
