Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Randomize
