Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
