Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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