i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
