The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
