OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
