Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
