not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
