hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
