Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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