All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize