I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
