Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
