My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
