Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize