thus making me awesome and them whores
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
