I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Its about making memories worth repressing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
