farters have to be the big spoon...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
