Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
