there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
