I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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