my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
