I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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