I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
