Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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