I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
