I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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