# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
