she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
