Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
