She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
