she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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