playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
