Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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