well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
