He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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