I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
