Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
