dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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