I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
