Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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