i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
