So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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