Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
