I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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